A World Upside-Down

I remember watching 'Alice in Wonderland' when I was a little girl. I was freaked out by this twisted univers where nobody seemed to notice that everything was upside-down. When I think back at my first visit to Palestine, I remember being overwhelmed by the huge amount of information. Everywhere I went, I was met with yet another personal story that revealed a new side of the conflict and its many consequences. I was faced with rules, restrictions and living conditions I had never imagined could exist. Back home, I could not stop talking about it, as if I had to pass on the knowledge in order to gain relief from the shock it had given me.

Now, as I am here for my second time, I am no longer surprised by every new piece of information, but I feel more puzzled than ever. I have returned to a place where everything truly is upside-down. Checkpoints and refugee camps are a part of everyday life and speech. The control of peoples' movement is a fact. People quit good jobs that are hard to replace because the short travel of 20 kms from home to work takes them several hours. Everybody knows at least one person who has been to prison or they have been themselves. Often, they kan be held in prison for months or years without being charged for anything – the charges against them being ”classified information”. I am no longer shocked to my core with all the personal stories I hear and new facts I discover. I am deeply mooved by this information, but not surprised. All these restrictions and violations of human rights are horrible, but by and by you somehow get used to the endless ways these violations are carried out.

The screams of disbelief that filled your head at first slowly gets replaced by a silent sigh when you begin to consider the situation as normal. The sigh is a relief to the screams that threatened to burst your head, but it is nonetheless a deceitfull relief. The reality here is not normal and it must not be thought of as normal. It is an unnormality that is forced down on people as the normal state of life. To consider it normal is the first step in accepting an unacceptable situation.

Before I went to Palestine this summer, some people aksed me why I wanted to go back. I have been asked the same question by people here. My presence here will not change anything. But it lets people know that I care. That I support their fight to regain their rights and their freedom. Being here is really the only thing I can do. So – my answer is – how could I not return?