Behind the Wall

On my first trip here we (the group) had gone to Jerusalem for a few days that had turned out to be exciting, turbulent and hard. I could not wait to go back to Bethlehem that had become almost like a home to me. However, when we approached the huge checkpoint between Jerusalem and Bethlehem, my eager to go back was mixed with a distinct feeling of reluctance. I did not want to be put behind those walls. I felt undignified, as if something deep inside of me had been violated.

Another story. During the same trip – but a week or so later – I had to catch a public bus in Jerusalem along with the others from the travel group. In a split second the images of busse blwon apart ran through my head. I got nervous, wondering if the ride would be safe. Very quickly I assured myself that there was nothing to worry about – because the wall was there to keep possible attacks away.

These two feelings, both very strong, provide a good example of the complexity of the situation here. It is so important to be nuanced and I do not believe that you are truly able to decide what you think is right and wrong if you do not listen to all the contrasting feelings inside you.

Probably any person in the world can imagine the horror of a bomb attack. It is much harder to imagine what restrictions in your freedom of movement feel like.

On the one hand, the wall and its checkpoints has hardly affected me during my stay here this summer. On the other hand, its presence penetrates so many aspects of daily life. Many of my colleagues live in Jerusalem or other places outside Ramallah. They never know how long it will take them to get home. Jerusalem is only about 20 km from Ramallah, but on a bad day it can take hours getting there. Checkpoint queues.

I have been in Ramallah for more than two weeks now, but I still haven't made it to Bethlehem to see any of my friends from the last trip. Bethlehem, just like Jerusalem, is only about 20 kms away from Ramallah, but the bus ride will take about 1 ½ hours. Work ends at 5 p.m. and it is not impossible to go to Bethlehem and back in the same evening. But the idea of having to spend as much time in a bus as with my friends has kept me from going. Just the thought of all the hazzle and the extra waiting that is very likely to occur simply wears me out. I only experience the restriction in freedom of movement on a tourist level. Many Palestinians have lost their jobs due to this restriction, if they are not born in Jerusalem they must apply for permittance to go there, and they never know how long it will take them to go from one Palestinian town to another.